SS: Balancer: 007 Icarus’s Pronouns


In the four years since I… Since I said good bye to Mother…

It still hurts. I occasionally visit her and tell her things. No one knows about it. I can’t tell anyone. They’d just yell at me.

In these four years, I have… I shake my head unable to make heads or tails of things.

The monochrome Balancer of Chaos and Order is named Icarus. Yuriel has disapproved of everything about Icarus. I still haven’t managed to explain my attraction and interest. Every moment I spot them, it’s been weird.

Like now. I stare at Icarus standing in the tree overlooking the land. I’m close to the little stream near the waterfall. This cliff can show off everything. And that tree is where Icarus loves to be. They use their talons to grip the branch and hold the trunk with a hand. Their eyes are set to the vastness of space not on anything on the valley below.

Yuriel grabs my hand while I stare. “You haven’t even really said two words to them.”

“I have.”

“When?” Yuriel glares at me. Yuriel is my ally. But I thought he was distracted by something. I thought I would be allowed to stare for longer. “Why do I have to watch you pine for some random stranger?”

“They’re not a stranger.”

“How many conversations have you had?”

I fidget aware we’re barely more than strangers even though we live in the same small area. Icarus is closed off. Almost incomplete. But I’m still drawn and I want to know why. “Some.”

“Kura.” Yuriel tugs me to the water fall. He’ll expect me to fly with him. I look at the water and it has me spot Mariposa waiting for us. She’s just watching our display. “I need you to stop fantasizing about them.”

I whimper looking back at Icarus. They stare down at us. We made too much noise. “Icarus!” I wave wildly. Yuriel releases me with a grunt. His arms cross as we both focus on the creature in the tree. “Hey. Won’t you chat with us?”

Icarus is slow to leave their position in the tree. They land near us fluttering the massive wings a touch. Yuriel huffs at the wind gust. Our wings don’t really cause that. “I would prefer if you used he and him for me, please.” Icarus looks at each of us.

I glance to Yuriel, but he doesn’t respond. “Sure. We didn’t want to assume.”

“Thank you.” Icarus nods and flies back to the tree.

I blink staring at Icarus going back to whatever his task was before. “I…”

“If you tell me you are soaking wet from his sentence, I’m going to throw you in the lake.”

“Hey!” I shove Yuriel. He rolls his eyes and flies into the air. “Yuriel…”

“Let’s go. Isn’t Mariposa someone you should give your time and energy? Not this weirdo who stares at the world from the tree.” Yuriel glowers at the tree. “He’s there all the time. Fuck him and join us. We can do stuff.”

I sigh and fly out into the sky. I offer Icarus a final glance before following Yuriel to Mariposa’s side. To do something besides stare at Icarus.

He is still in the tree. He is always in the tree. What is he doing? A full sentence. It’s a first. Maybe next time we’ll have a conversation. I can hope.


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