Hey, people! You probably recall me from CatHartliebe.com. I’ve been actively blogging for a few years. And I published prior to creating the website.
Look, I did a bunch of things wrong. Much of it wouldn’t matter in the long run.
Except, I never used triggers. Some of my books truly show my privilege in life. I don’t wish to hurt others.
Cat Hartliebe is going to be my more fluff and fun nonsense writing that shouldn’t be trigger inducing. I don’t mind the name or the work behind it. This means much of the stuff I’ve written will not be publishable under Cat Hartliebe. It’s fine. I’ll figure it out.
Besides that, I’m the same person as Tod Leben and Cat Gillette. I’m a genderfluid, pan-grey sexual; pan-demi romantic, white, female presenting, 35 year old human. I’m a single parent called “Mom” by one child and two cats. Tyger and Nugget have specific calls for me that I translate to ‘Mom’.
Cyro Hartliebe is child. Child has a lot of unknowns in life yet. They’re genderfluid and use the they/them pronouns for safety. You can ask us daily if there is a gendered preference. We move all over the gender board. It’s weird to say I’ve spent time in pretty much all of the options. Reading about more genders has me placing names down for certain memories and days of my life. Cyro is the same.
We live in New Jersey, which is the best state, but are looking for a place we can be safe. We are not safe where we are. The people we live with hate our existence. They don’t hate “us”. They love their version of us even if that’s not anything like the real us. They hate disables, they hate LGBT+, they hate anyone different, they hate anyone who can’t support themselves.
We live with our haters. We can’t escape.
One of the reasons I’ve pushed to publish and become someone as an author is because this can lead me to an escape. If I have enough stories available to the public and I become known enough, I can live. I can take Cyro somewhere we can be truly safe.
It really feels impossible. Every step has me feeling as if I’m not good enough. So many people have said other wise and yet I haven’t reached known status. I don’t have the support of someone who can get me out of this place.
You’ll notice in several of my posts I am crushing on GD. Kwon Jiyong (권지용) found his way into the spotlight through his hard work and the support of his allies. He did it. He made a name of himself because of his abilities and actions. It gives me the hope I need to keep trying. I hope to manage this author/poet skill set to prove I’m good enough for GD. As if I’m the same not different.
We both started in well off families. This isn’t an impossible task. It’s just he succeeded because he started young. My family ended up crashing into poor class instead. Then all the supportive figures in my life? I didn’t believe them. I’ve been traumatized so often by my family and “friends” that I didn’t believe the bucketload of others who said I can write well.
I’ve been suggested to publish since I was about 13. I wish that was a joke. It took me over a decade of people suggesting before I finally believed them. Where would I be as an author if I started back then? My three decades of experience have really improved my skills. These last few years where I pushed hard as a writer and author has really proved something.
I am capable. Even more than before. I am at the level where you compare the super stars in the field.
I just am not known yet.
And that’s what my goal should be.
But first, let me put out stuff I truly am proud of. Because what I had before wasn’t pride inducing. I was worried and afraid they’d hurt the people I wanted to help.
Cat Gillette will be publishing non adult and non fiction work. Such as my autistic children shorts. I’ve been creating them because I am autistic. Part of it is my memories. Some of it is my family’s history. Some are friends I’ve gotten to know. My brothers were diagnosed ADD when we were children. My cousin was diagnosed autistic. My uncle was held back in school and forced into a special needs school. For me, autism is just life. My entire family is. We’re all seeing the world through a different lens. I can write that piece of my history without fear.
The cookbook will be under Cat Gillette as well.
Tod Leben is my triggering pen name. Having that name be placed on a book means there are concerns. Trigger lists will be placed at the back of the book. This is one of the biggest reasons I needed to pull everything. All of my stories can set people off. Or nearly all of them.
[Plans] explains which ones I’ll be working on first. No guarantee I’ll stick with them.
Currently published on Smashwords and Amazon:
Fireworks is about a precious young main character called Baby and their first time hearing fireworks.
Mom left them safely at home, but fireworks can be terrifying even while safe at home.
Follow along with Baby’s frightened state over the loud booms in the sky.
Will Getoffthecounter make it easier or harder on them?
Two Boots; One Date
All are 99 cents short stories. And like with much of my work, I don’t mind sending a pdf/mobi file to a reader who can’t pay. [CatHartliebe@gmail.com] [TodLeben42@gmail.com] [CatGillette42@gmail.com]
I’m moving forward. I hope to do so at a fast pace. Maybe I’ll be good enough that I can look at GD and say equal. Because that’s the level I’m aiming for. Household name status.
Because really? Authors who aren’t household names aren’t capable of surviving on their income alone. I have to aim for household name. If non readers don’t know about me, I’m not making enough income on my own. It sucks to say that, to know that about the world. But I have enough stories and enough ability. Now to just get it out there in the world so others know too.
Wish me luck.
If you want to read something not currently published, check out [Cat Hartliebe] [Book Series] [All the books!!!] and [Plans]. I’m always open to alpha and beta readers. If you want to support me right now, I only have paypal. I want to get patreon up, but it hasn’t happened yet. I’ll figure that out soon.